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Disaster Recovery and YOU! June 2, 2010

Posted by lablount in Humor, Idiot, IT.
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You know, if you’ve spent any time with man made devices, you will learn one thing.  When you need them most, they will go Tango Uniform.  Computers are no different than the plow our forbearers used, at some point it will go bad and when it does, you will need to replace it.

Now, if a plow breaks, the land it plows doesn’t care that you just got Plow 2.0 from the local blacksmith.  But if your computer breaks, it also takes the happy little files that made it useful with it.  All gone…  BYE BYE. Never to have that priceless hacked video of the celeb du jour making her “home movie” debut.

But, if you planned ahead, you probably have back ups of all your important data locked away on another computer OR some form of less fickle media.  So you can make sure your bills get paid and all your files are left intact.  Your files are part of your digital plow.  They are not the field.

Most people know this.  Most people have some important things like pictures or wills on DVD, CD, Flash drives, and the like.  Now imagine it was YOUR JOB.  Imagine there was the fanciful vocation called, oh I don’t know…  An IT manager?

Let’s imagine that job was on this planet to ensure the smooth day to day functioning of computers and their data.  So that when something goes to that great e-Waste bin in the sky, the end users are back up and running in just a few minutes.

If that job existed, part of its sandbox would be to back up ALL the important data.  …Because data is part of the package.  Remember the plow analogy?  So when a computer went plotz, they would simply walk over to the media shelf and pull out a back up of that computer’s data (or at least the important bits).  If they were top notch IT Managers, if the media on the shelf was bad, they would saunter off site and pull some very secure copy of the data for a magical sacred place.  …Probably their own home fire safe.

One thing you would never hear out of the mouths’ of these mythical job holders is, “No one told me I needed to do disaster recovery backups!”  They would never say that for fear of being stoned in the town square for being idiots not worthy of breeding or breathing.

*mutters something about consultants and wannabes and mass graves when he runs the universe*

A Picture is Worth a Thousand… Beatings May 24, 2010

Posted by lablount in Gaia doesn't love you., Idiot, Nature.
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Now I’m ok with a wild animal, endangered or not, being put down for attacking a human.  Once that animal has the taste for human blood, it’s lost its fear of humans and is a danger.  That being said:  Because of idiots like this, I want is the following Regs added to all state and federal lands.  1) If a person causes the death of the animal by being a dumbass and forgetting that animals are not our furry friends but, you know, WILD ANIMALS, then that person should have to be present to watch the animal being put down.  2) Upon the death of said animal, said dumbass will placed in a pillory for a time not to exceed 30 days where passers by, for a fee to be collected for the upkeep of the park, may do nasty and unsanitary things to said dumbass’ nethers with any rusty implements smaller than 15 inches and not to exceed 2 pounds in gross weight.

“Don’t feed the bears,” is NOT we humans being mean and nasty to our nature brothers.  It’s an acknowledgement that once you leave suburbia, you are no longer the top of the food chain.  Act like it.  You are prey, and when a wild animal does you the courtesy of leaving you alone, you do likewise lest you end up proving that you belonged at the edge of the herd.  You see, when those guys on NatGeo and Animal Planet go out looking at all does cuddwy wuddwy widdle fuzzys, what you don’t see are the armed guides with mad hunting skills, that include knocking a gnat off a pin head at 100 yards, and their high powered rifles.  …Because nature does not love us no mater how much you give to the WWF or how much granola you eat.

If you bug a critter, not matter how small, it will finally decide it’s either you or it; and it ALWAYS votes “it”.   Sometimes that vote ends in it running like a deer.  But when that animal is equipped with claws and teeth and a usually surly ‘tude, you can pretty much guess it’s coin if going to land on “Fight” more often than “Flight”.  Act accordingly.

I wish that would have been a bearzilla that guy decided to go all Annie Leibovitz on!

Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain May 10, 2010

Posted by lablount in Idiot, Politics.
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Can’t stop the Signal, Barry!

Breda has a good quote for this nonsense.

Please Check My Math April 23, 2010

Posted by lablount in Guns, Idiot, Schadenfreude.
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I was trying to find the video referred to in this post by Breda.  The video is gone, sadly.  But in looking for that video, I stumbled across a number of, “Watch my GF/Wife/Friend/SumGirl get knocked on her tail by my BigMaHonkin-PawCannon*/Max-Gauge-Eargeshsplitten-Loadenboomer**;  HAR HAR HAR!” vids.  Is this funny?  

I won’t link to any.  But go to Youtube or any large video sharing site and search on “Recoil” and see how many posts are dedicated to women getting p’wnd by some large bore hunk of led spitting steel. 

I can see why THIS is funny.  

But please tell me how (female n00b + large caliber weapon that most big men don’t like to shoot + live ammo + physical harm) = highlarity? 

Hilarity would befall me if after the impractical un-joke Darling BF/Hubby/Friend/Sumguy was pistol whipped or butt stroked by the lass in a rage filled pre-menstrual fit of conniption.  I, for one, would truly LMAO!  I would hit the Facebook “like” button on that so many times my laptop would ‘splode. 

As a member of the male half(ish) of the species, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to the distaff portion.  I’m sorry.  Some of us are NOT like that.  Really.  To make up for it… here’s more Testosterone Poisoning (two links) for your viewing schadenfreude. 

And again.  Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Masculine Culpa. 

* Large Handgun
** Large Rifle